Tribute to Margaret Stickland, 1944 - 2025

I remember thinking Margaret was so glamorous when I was a little girl and we would visit at Auntie Molly's because she was home. I have a lovely memory of Margaret running me a bath on my wedding day ( in between the afternoon and evening reception) and helping me out of my wedding dress so I could have a few moments relaxation - how thoughtful. We must have been in Ireland together at one time, as I have a photo of me ( aged 2-3) playing football with Rod at Creggane. I have just returned home from a week in Ireland and all the Togher cousins spoke of her with fond memories of visits - including Fintan telling us he once climbed Croagh Patrick with Margaret and Auntie Molly! We were with you in spirit on Saturday. Sending all our love xx

“Thank you for being in our lives” from your sister Rose and brother-in-law John xx Being with her for those weeks leading to the end of her life and together with Alan, Jessica, Jim and Patty in her last hours, sad though that was, brings a part of my own life to a close. I was privileged to see her at peace and that gave me great peace. And she will live on in my memory. She led an interesting and fulfilled life, a thoroughly good sister. A snapshot of our history. Despite the gap of the best part of a decade between us as we grew up , we have shared times of sadness, times of joy and much merriment in between. You have been my older sister for 72+ years, reliable, capable, teacher of life. a friend as well as all that goes with the bond of family. We have annoyed each other sometimes but not too often when you look back over time. Margaret besides being an affectionate sister was glamorous, talented, a singer, a dancer, fun loving, laughter, foodie, cook, wife and homemaker, a teacher, administrator a Grafter and Crafter and lover of F1 racing. Much more especially to her great joy as a Mum, Nana & Aunt and latterly a great Aunt for Winifred who she did get to meet and have a cuddle. Many other siblings have similar stories but this is mine. Early memories of her trying hard to teach Kate and Me and I think, brothers Kevin and Patrick how to do ‘steps’ in an attempt to teach us Irish dancing (7’s and 3’s.) We still remember them vaguely. I remember her singing at home at times; family get togethers, visitors, when Dad’s fiddle came out or when Aunty Mary and Uncle Pat came round and a sing along would happen. Also I remember our riotously funny neighbours Pat and Doreen who were an absolute scream and they would join in together singing Geordie songs in broad accents singing Cushy Butterfield or The Blaydon Races. Much laughter ensued. They were fun days. I also remember her going out with Dad accompanying her Irish dancing at her classes and subsequent Feis and the odd Ceilidh too. She was also a member of a Folk Club, The Penguins, as well as The Ramblers. I always remember a glamorous vision, nice clothes particularly her pink Chanel style suit. My main memory of Margarets singing was at church on Sundays when she could compete with the rest of the congregation very well, and could always be heard over the choir which made me laugh and have to smother my giggles I went on holiday one time with her when I was about 9 and she was 17 we visited our Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Jim in Coventry. Their 2 elder boys both older teenagers John and Eddie would take Margaret out dancing and having a great time, I stayed at home with my less pleased Cousin Rose who was about 14 at the time. I like to think that despite our gap in age that particular holiday gave us an extra lifelong bond and she was able to confide in me and me with her at difficult or challenging times in our lives. Often late night huddled into shared bedrooms on visits home we would confide in each other and laugh or cry depending on the content. Age difference, and a lived life for both of us did bring huge gaps when she was out of the country but reunions were always sweet. I was also lucky enough to experience shared holidays and regular visits to each others houses. When Corrina and Alan were just a few years old I would take a bus from Newcastle to Victoria Bus station and onto Croydon. Margaret and I would take Alan and Corrina in push chairs off on Picnics and various adventures with Rod, we sometimes met up in his lunchtime in St. James Park and spent weekends walking up Box Hill or visiting her in laws and playing Pooh Sticks on Pooh Sticks Bridge. Lovely summers. When my John came into mine and Corrina’s life, Margaret and Rod welcomed him with open hearts and we became firm friends. One time when Alan and Jessica were young, together with Corrina , John and I while on a camper van trip around France we popped into her and Rod’s holiday cottage in the Dordogne spending a few days with them tramping around fields of sunflowers and listening to crickets over a glass of wine in the evening, once the kids had settled. Also remembering our weekends in Croydon where lovely food was prepared and the wine flowed and talking, going on walks and picnics enjoyed. They also visited us in Bristol and Lyme Regis over the years. Later years and changes in life. Margaret decide to move to Bristol to be near to Jessica and lived with John and I for about a year while she re located and found her own home in Bristol. We had many a good time and it was lovely to have a family member living so close. It meant she was close by when Emily and Tom were born and they grew up having an aunt close by. After Bristol when she retired and moved to Devon we didn’t see each other as much as we liked, but we had busy lives and we did get together at special times like birthdays in Lyme or South Brent and also later, after Covid, representing our whole family with Jessica, attending Emily and Eliot’s wedding. That brings up a further memory. Margaret ended up cooking at our own wedding with our sister Kate and neighbours when the planned food turned into a disaster! The caterers had double booked and then the BBQ they were meant to use, blew up, I thank you Margaret for that and it did make up for the fact that I hadn’t ask her to make my cake which she was annoyed about. However, instead of making a cake she ended up helping to prepare and serve all the food for 150 guests, not an insurmountable task, on the spur of the moment. That was our Margaret.

I met Margaret in Newcastle - through a mutual friend - at St James Park in October 1968 .. Newcastle lost 1-0 to Leeds .. We married at Bells Close RC Church in July 1969 in the presence of most of the O’Boyles and subsequently relocated to Croydon .. the start of Margaret’s links to Croydon … on the basis that I had to work for LB Croydon for two years because of a £100 grant to help fund my year’s study in Newcastle … (I was easily bought) .. We soon settled and bought our first house (with a £25 deposit) the following year .. we happily holidayed in Ireland, Scotland & Majorca .. and then 1972 saw the arrival of Alan … Overseas travel started big-time in 1975 when we (including a heavily pregnant Margaret) set off for a year in Malaysia … baby Paul arrived in April and he lived with us for seven months .. he died of complications from a gastric obstruction that was diagnosed (but couldn’t be treated) locally .. Christmas 1975 was spent in Australia (meeting the rest of the O’Boyle clan) … 1976/77 saw us in the Seychelles and we returned to UK mid-77 for Jessica’s arrival … Our travels continued - Jessica’s first birthday was in Kuwait and in 1979/80 we were in Lahore for a year where Alan attended the American School and Jessica a Punjabi Montessori .. We were in Vancouver for 8 months over Winter 81/82 (although I was working/commuting to Baghdad) .. and we returned to UK via a couple of (working) months in HK in Summer 82 … UK education needs curtailed long-term family travel .. although short trips were made to Jordan, Nepal and elsewhere … Throughout our travels - and subsequently - Margaret shouldered most of the responsibility for the growth and nurturing of the children … and it is she who is primarily responsible for the two mature and balanced ‘children’ you see today.

My silly memory that I was reminded of the other day was your mum saying that strawberries should be served room temperature, not straight from the fridge as Nana was doing, ha ha! I forgot to put some back in the fridge the other day, and it reminded me of how right she was when I ate some. She was always so well put together, something I've never managed, a beautiful smile and definitely a matriarch after Nana! The beautiful cards she took the time to make for Nathaniel and Elora's births as well as the hats and cardigans she made them. I had them in those so often :) I always looked forward to seeing the cakes that your mum had made for your two :) and enjoyed talking about cake decorating with her when she would be up to visit.

One memory to share is a day we were in town and having a good natter when she took her phone out of her bra - when I I wondered why, she said it saves it getting pinched! We had a good day and it was lovely seeing her alive and well ❤️ xxx but I will miss her so much my little big sister xxx

I was always scared of aunty Margaret when I was younger because she seemed so righteous and stern. However as I got older I realised that she was full of love and kindness and always wanted the best for everyone. Sometimes that came across stern when I was little but when I was older I realised it was just her being passionate about wanting the best for you. One of things I will always remember is how aunty Margaret made me my wedding cake, without me even asking, which was beyond kind and made our day even more special x

Margaret was a very passionate, loving lady and in some ways that made it very difficult for her, but it was also what made her so lovable. Croydon seems a long time ago now, but I still remember it as amongst the best parts of my life, and spending time with your mum and dad are treasured memories for me both before you left for the overseas stints and after. And although there were good times whilst you were abroad there was the great sadness and when your baby brother Paul died it showed one of her great strengths. I think we had moved north by the time you came back but we still saw you when we came down. I had a good few long conversations with your mum over the years and as well as you they often revolved around her family connections to folk music and she herself had a lovely voice. In fact I recall going to the Croydon Folk Club with her where she had strong connections. I was also a beneficiary of her great cooking skills and I'm sure you will have appreciated those all your lives. Her cake making skills spring to mind! Your mum had a real zest for life and a very broad interest not only in cultural things like the theatre and reading, but she could also be ferocious over politics. Those too featured in our conversations even in my last chat with her.

Jessica’s school friends have many memories of Margaret from our teenage years. She is remembered by all of us for making us feel welcome in her home, hosting frequent sleepovers and parties. Margaret showed us all such warmth and love, tolerating late night chatter and feeding us all the next morning. She supported us with recipes and cooking tips, and gave us encouragement as we grew up and left home, always showing an interest in what we got up to over the years. We’re so grateful to have had her in our lives.

Our Auntie Margaret was always a big presence in our lives, from her days living in Croydon and hearing about her travels to her moving in with us for a while, then to her own place in Bristol, finally not too far away from us in Devon. My brother Tom and I would giggle at the Geordie way she’d pronounce “cook” and “book”, or even better, “cookbook”. She enjoyed saying phrases like “I fell arse over tit”. Cue louder giggles. Over the years she always spoilt us with homemade cards, elaborate branded Christmas gifts and sweetly did my make-up for my Year 11 prom. I idolised her kids, Alan and Jessica, growing up, so I really enjoyed our get-togethers with tables laden high with homemade treats and dogs in the lounge. She would get misty-eyed about the good news just as much as the bad and had terrible taste in newspapers. Auntie Margaret often seemed stern yet had a mischievous streak. She had a mean ancient cat called Cinders, loved a G&T and watching cars go around and around. I’m lucky enough to have had many strong women in my family to look up to, and she was one of the mightiest. I’m so glad she got to meet and cuddle my daughter, even if it was in a hospital setting. Margaret fiercely loved her family, especially her grandchildren. I will miss her dearly.

Margaret had quite an artistic side to her. She had nice taste in clothes, always wore good fabrics; the styles she chose were not just classic but quite cool, she liked Indian cotton and had an eye for colour. She was the first person I saw in hotter shoes and boots for instance. Her house was tastefully and interestingly decorated and styled; full of curious things from her travels. She seemed always to be a great supporter of the family, always rallied everyone round and loved being part of all the festivities and parties. She loved talking to people and showed real interest in them, she would chat very openly and was friendly. She brought wonderful gifts back to everyone, including intricate wooden carvings I remember from the cottage. She never forgot birthdays. I would see the cards at Patty’s and her gifts were there for years. I remember when we stayed with her in 1981 on the way to a camping holiday in France with Patty and Jim, she made us a wonderful meal. The dessert had cream cheese and grapes in it. Really memorable food; and her house was so welcoming and warm. She was generous and warm hearted and loved to show love through cooking and care for the whole extended family, including us from Liverpool. She and Rod stayed with my mum and dad on the way back from camping in the lakes once. They stayed with them so they could see Tony and Kevin in about 1972. She will be so missed by everyone. Jessica and Alan will be broken hearted to lose her. Thank you Margaret for all your kindness to everyone. Claire Bleasdale.